Beyond the Technique of How to Make Love

How to make love is more of an art than it is a science, and a lot has been written about it. The most famous work is probably the Kama Sutra, a centuries-old Indian treatise which teaches sexual techniques and positions.

Lovemaking does involve technique, and the more knowledge and experience one acquires through information and through practice, the better one will become at the art of making love. Kissing, touching, having endurance; knowing how to use your fingers, mouth or tongue, are important skills to have. But at the basis of all the great techniques, is a skill that the best lovers use to become even better.

Top Guides on How to Make Love: Michael Webb's 500 Lovemaking Tips & Secrets

The one factor that will help you customize and perfect everything you learn, and
can mean the difference between a great, memorable lovemaking session and a
merely forgettable one, is:

• Paying attention to your lover. Your partner is the best guide you can
  have in the process of learning how to make love. 

This skill distinguishes the best lovers from those blindly applying something they read
or saw in a movie. And it will allow you to learn how to make love to a particular person,
or to a particular type of person by observing and listening.

Pay attention to his or her reactions, to the signs that something you’re saying or doing
is pleasurable, or not; to his or her mood.

Is your lover submissive? Dominant? Both at different times? Does he or she want to
‘get on with it’; or rather, that you take your time, building things up slowly with purposeful foreplay? Does your partner prefer sex more than love-making? Or vice-versa? Is this
always the case, or just sometimes? Is it because he or she doesn’t know any better?
Can you inspire your lover to venture into new territories? How should you go about it?

All of the questions above are best answered when there’s a basis of knowledge and
techniques to back them up. Ideally, you need to have an arsenal of tips and tricks that
would work for different scenarios, situations and personalities, and then applying and
adapting those techniques according to the responses you get from your partner, over
time or on the spot.

But focusing on your partner doesn’t mean that you should sacrifice your own pleasure
in the process, because when this happens, making love can become too one-sided
and not enjoyable for both. It has to be a give and take, because your sexual needs have
to be met too; so by the same token that you pay attention to your lover, use that same
skill to pay attention to yourself. How much do you know yourself sexually, if at all?

• Knowing oneself is crucial if we will ever want to learn about what others
  like and enjoy. 

This may come as a surprise to some, but there are lots of people (women more than
men, unfortunately, due to society’s history of discrimination of female sexuality), that
have not taken the liberty to explore their own likes and dislikes in terms or what’s erotic
or sexually appealing to them. This makes sexually enjoyable experiences harder to
come by. And,

• If you don't enjoy, chances are your partner won't fully enjoy either. 

So, don’t be afraid to explore and learn more about what you like or not. And don’t be
afraid to express and communicate what you learn to your partner. This will do wonders
for your sexual life and for your knowledge on how to make love.

Make sure you check out Michael Webb's


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